Much of our ideas about affairs centre around sex.
We tend to think that the affair occurred because one party was ‘over-sexed’ or the other didn’t want sex at all- indeed most of our assumptions about this are fuelled by movies and T.V. Many people who have felt betrayed through an affair in their relationship will want to know the details of the sex, how often it happened, was it different, was he/she better than me and will be familiar with the distress that accompanies these questions.
In reality, affairs have far less to do with sex and more to do with an imbalance between distance and closeness in a relationship. Watch this simple but thought provoking animation by Alain de Botton.